'Tis the season to be jolly?
Christmas might be the season of goodwill and a time for socialising with friends and family but for those affected by cancer, it can be a very difficult time of year. This may be because you have cancer yourself or someone close to you has cancer. It can also be especially hard if a loved one has died.
It can be tough seeing those around you entering into the festive spirit when you're going through a difficult time and this can magnify any problems you face. Christmas often has high expectations associated with it or may be an important milestone which can also add pressure at an already stressful time.
Whatever your situation, here are some tips that could help you through:
- Be prepared on a practical level - e.g. make sure you have enough medication and know who is available to contact should you feel unwell.
- Try to have realistic expectations. You could have good days and bad days. Accepting you may have bad days might lessen the disapointment if it happens.
- Know your limits - think in advance about what you feel you can manage physically and emotionally and plan your day.
- Don't give yourself a hard time if you don't feel up to something you've planned.
- Talk to those around you about how you're feeling.
- Let people know what you do/don't want to talk about. People may have different ideas about this so sometimes it helps to be clear about what you want.
- Ask for help if you need it. If you're in distress or despair, the Samaritans are available throughout the holiday period.
Let us know what you think and if you have any tips.
Christmas
Dear Amy,
Thankyou for those words about Christmas, they are indeed true. Not being able to get my mojo working can be quite depressing and it's good to have your tips on how to cope.
Many thanks
Sincerely
Angela
xx
Feelings at Christmas
Yes having cancer can deeply undermine your inner happiness and as people gear up for celebrations it can seem pretty pointless when you are feeling hopeless and gloomy. This year for me I am in the position of wondering if it is my LAST Christmas which has special significance as a result. Last year I didnt even put up my Christmas tree but this year I am going to try and make an effort. But if anyone is feeling low they shouldnt feel bad about it - it is very understandable - but a little time with family can make special memories for everyone so try to make a bit of an effort - you may find yourself enjoying yourself. Treatment during Chirstmas is not easy and when you are sat feeling sick and wondering who stole your internal 'batteries' and you are sooooo tired it isnt easy. I hope that everyone has a little bit of fun and companionship during the festive period. Best wishes, Jools x
family. memories
may i just say christmas is a very emotional time for anyone. family and friends are very important, t like yourselves have lost many family members.in december last my only sibling brother died very sudden, this year my mother in law also passed away.this year iam suffering with cancer, what will next year bring who knows .what i do know is no one can take away all your happy memories of your loved ones and that what keeps me strong.
Tough one!
This Christmas my family had planned a BIG one, all the family at my parents, mindful it would likely be my brother's last. He lives in Kendal. I have sisters in Salisbury and Somerset and parents and I are in Hampshire. Sadly my brother succumbed to an infection and died Wednesday December 3rd. It was sudden and much earlier than anticipated, although I suspect he knew Monday when he made me promise a few things, like ensuring the party went on and he gave me a box of wine, 'as it amazing how much gets drunk when there are alot of people around. Make sure you take it home with you'. I did! Our maternal grandpa died Christmas day 1971. We were alot younger then but over the years we have had some chuckles, and certainly Christmas was never sad. I juts found some pictures (well slides) of my brother and grandparents enjoying Christmas some 45 years ago! I am going to have them made into pictures
It will be an effort, but we will have a memorable day, not least because that is what he wanted and asked me to ensure happened.
Babscatt, how right you are, no one can steal our memories, and I am so lucky I have lots of happy ones.
Best wishes to you all, Debbiexx
Christmas
Debbie I am so sorry to hear about your brother and me rabbiting on about Bert. and my problems. My thoughts are with you and your family. Lots of love Teri
Christmas
Debbie I am so sorry to hear about your brother and me rabbiting on about Bert. and my problems. My thoughts are with you and your family. Lots of love Teri
Christmas
Christmas for me lately has been a very difficult time. 4 years ago my dad died, followed swiftly by another tragedy. My ex husband and my daughters father was found dead on a boat. He had been missing for 2 weeks and we were all very close. He spent christmas with us every year and although we had divorced, he and my daughter were very close indeed (she was truly a daddys girl). His death has devastated my family, especially my children and myself. We have never experienced anything so sad as that. His body was found on the 16th December 2004, just before Christmas and we had to wait 6 months for inquest before we could have a funeral. It was the worst time ever and Christmas hasn't been a cheerful occasion since then, especially for my daughter who was 14 at the time. This will be the fouth Christmas without him in our lives and a day doesn.t go by without me feeling downhearted about him, gradually, day by day, and year by year we have picked our spirits up so as to try and enjoy life again. My cancer this year was another setback for us all, yet again we have had a big shock and we have had to work our way through it the best we could. This time, however, with a good ending.......my results came back clear and I can say I haven't got cancer anymore!! We are once again a happy house, with Christmas to look forward to together. Good health really is the best Christmas pressy that anyone could have, my children have found out the hard way that having the latest Ipod or Computer Game etc, is not what truly makes us happy at this time of year. We will never forget the good memories that we have of Dave and I hope that he is with us in spirit. We think of him as a twinkling star in the sky who will never go away.
Love to you all
Kim
xxx
Bless you Kim
How marvellous that you get a happy ending to your troubled year, and previous years. I hope that you experience a wonderful family Christmas and that the good memories of your ex are a comfort to you all. You have been very kind and supportive to so many on here while going through your own treatments etc. No one deserves a nicer Christmas time and a Happier New Year than you. Lots of love Jools x
Ditto Jools
Thanks for all your kind words Jools, you really are a wonderful friend to have and i am so lucky to have met you. You too have supported so many people here while going through your own treatment, even when you have been suffering in pain and discomfort, you have been there for anyone in need. This cannot possibly be your last Christmas Jools, I wont let you go anywhere my dear!! Please make sure you put up a christmas tree this year, even if you dont feel like it, it might make you feel a bit jollier when you see the lights twinkling in a dark room, when you can cuddle up with your daughters and your naughty dog. We all love you Jools, and I know many would agree that YOU really are the best friend anyone could want.
You deserve to have the best Christmas ever.
Lots of love and joy
Kim
xxx